All Things Happen for a Reason...

It's so over used but at the same time, it's painfully true. At the time, the reason can seem unclear, but in the end, it's always there. Maybe it's a lesson learned or maybe it's an avenue to get you somewhere else in life, to meet new people, whatever it is...there's a reason.

My life has taken many twists and turns, more so in my adult life than in my childhood. I was under the false impression that once you became an adult, all the answers were there and life was grand - I was so wrong! At the ripe old age of 30, I am twice divorced and am the single mother to a child with special needs. Those three events are undoubtedly the most life affecting events I have faced to date and they have all helped me to become the person I am today. Each event prepping me for the next, each more painful than the one before, I think though that this time, I finally got the message.

In the past year I have evolved - I have become strong, confident, I have learned to stand up for my beliefs and to advocate for my child. I have faced challenges that any one on its own would break most people and I am happy to say that I have risen to the top and that I will continue to grow. The only things in my life today that are the same as a year ago are my son and my family. I lost my house, my car, my dog and cat, my husband, and somewhere in all that, I lost myself. As each door closed another would open, and each was heavier than the one before, each one pushed me and tested me to limits that I had no idea existed.

As I enter the next phase of my life, I can only hope and pray that it is gentler on me than the last. I hope that I can be wise in my decisions, that I can live and love without the hindrance of my past relationships. I have learned that each and every thing that happens to us, plays a role in how we interact with the world around us. In recent months, I have been able to see how past actions of other people caused me to put up walls, to feel things that weren't there, to have fear that was unfounded. I have learned that I love to be loved, that I long for companionship and do not wish to be alone the rest of my life (as I had proclaimed to my family after the pain of this past summer), I know now that it's okay to love again, that I may get hurt along the way but none can be as painful as the last.