IEP Woe's

The Little Man struggles in school, that's not anything new. He's smart as a whip but getting things out of his brain, on to paper, that proves to be right up there with rocket science.

TLM has an IEP that, evidently, isn't quite up to par this year. Or maybe it is, but reaching goals isn't of a high priority. Either way, the big picture has him suffering. Back in late September at TLM's annual IEP review he was at Level 3 with 77% accuracy on his Rigby benchmark for reading. His IEP goal for the year was set that he would be at Level 16 with 100% accuracy by the end of the school year. At conferences in November I was told that he wasn't progressing as fast as they would like but that as long as he reached Level 6 or 7 by Christmas, that they would be happy with that and that the goal should be attainable. Report cards came home on Wednesday of this past week and he is at a Level 3 with 81% accuracy.

In my opinion, and I'm not even going to claim it as biased in this instance, they have failed him. At what point did it become okay to not address the fact that he is not progressing in reading? Should I also mention the fact that he has maintained in math and has regressed in writing? Obviously by the time that late December rolled around someone had to have known that he was not heading in the right direction. (well okay, technically he is heading forward but not with anywhere near the speed that is required for him to succeed in first grade, let alone 2nd grade which is looming right around the corner). He is reading at an early Kindergarten level. Why isn't he being pulled out for remedial help? Why am I not being notified of the severity of his inability to progress?

A million questions are zooming around in my mind, all are going at speeds so fast I can't grasp on to them. I am in disbelief. I am angry. I am sad for my son. I am loosing trust in his 'team' - the very people who are supposed to be ensuring that "No Child is Left Behind" and that he receive the education that he is entitled to.

In February we all sat around a large table - myself, his teacher, his OT, the school psychiatrist, the school nurse, the principal. All of these people who are supposed to be doing right by him. The people who have direct contact with him all commented on how bright he is and how much he has going for him. Not one hinted at how very, very far behind he is.

On Wednesday I get to sit at the table with these people again. The people who I felt were looking out for his best interests and whom I now question. They will share with me the information they have collected over the past 1 1/2 months and what it says about TLM. They will share their thoughts and opinions on what the next move should be, as if they are playing a game and strategizing their attack. This isn't a game, it is my sons life. I worry that they are writing him off, at a mere 7 years old.

Who knows, maybe I will go to that meeting on Wednesday and be pleasantly surprised. Maybe they will see what I see - that he needs more one on one in the classroom, that he needs pull out for reading, that OT with a group of 5 other children is not serving him as best they could. Maybe they will look beyond the numbers and dollar signs and see the beautiful child full of hopes and dreams that I see every day.

Only time will tell...

Birthday Week

Birthday Week has finally come to an end. It's always been a joke that birthday's go on and on and on in our family. What can I say, it's a big deal! This year was no exception and we were going strong ALL week long!

Friday he had a package waiting at the door from Grammy in Portland. After a run in with the neighbor kids he was pretty distraught. I distracted him with opening packages. His favorite part of Grammy's gift was the Michaels gift card!!!



Sunday we had the cousins over for pizza, cake, and ice cream. He had fun, definitely enjoyed himself and his gifts. He loves when his cousins are over, he can't get enough of them. My little entomologist LOVED his butterfly habitat - we can't wait for the caterpillars to come in the mail.



Tuesday night (his actual birthday) the Little Man had a quiet night at home. He got N-Strike for the Wii, a resin insect collection, and the Martian Matter Alien Lab.



Thursday was his 'mini' party at McDonald's with friends. The kids had a great time playing and opening gifts while the parents got time to chat and hang out after a long day. LOL, his friend didn't like that his mom didn't wrap the present so he used his cheeseburger wrapper!



Today we met daddy at the Reptile Zoo. It was a lot of fun, right up TLM's alley! Snakes, lizards, turtles, alligators, spiders, cockroaches, frogs...they had it all! After the Reptile Zoo we went to Red Robin for lunch and presents. Two weeks ago he asked his dad for 'a fire truck that I can build and paint' and he came through with flying colors.






The week was wonderful, and I loved every minute of it, but it's time to head back to reality. We have not touched homework yet this week and have a lot to do tomorrow and TLM has laundry to fold and a dishwasher to empty. I'm sure he'll be missing that birthday in no time!


Oh - a funny story for you. Being that my son is a budding entomologist, I sometimes have crazy things in my house. For the most part, I go with the flow and they are enclosed and leave me alone. Sunday night was a different story. TLM was in bed upstairs, sound asleep, as was the cat. I was watching tv downstairs and was startled by a banging noise coming from around the entertainment center. My first thought was that it was a mouse (or worse) and being the only adult in the house - I was the one who had to investigate. Finally I heard where the noise was coming from...an old sour cream container (by old I mean summertime old) that TLM had put a HUGE grub that he had found outside. There was no grass, no dirt, no air holes - nothing. The HUGE grub is no longer a grub, it's a HUGE moth that was so big that it was moving the container that it was in when it started flapping around. Scared the living daylights out of me! Once I calmed down I laughed because earlier in the day my sister had commended me for being such a great mom when my niece found a container full of snails and worms tipped over and open on the floor of the kitchen - I didn't even flinch. TLM woke up when I was laughing so he got to release this monster outside. I'm not sure if it survived, it was 18F that night!



Check out the smile on his face. He lives for this stuff! Now he'll have a cool story to share next weekend at Bug Club!

Happy Birthday...

The Little Man turns seven on Tuesday, I am in disbelief. It all goes way too fast and he's now closer to being a teenager than an infant! I bought him size 10 jeans the other day, I was in denial that my 6 year old could possibly need anything larger than an 8 but I had to face the facts. (when they don't reach fully around his waist to button, you know you need to adjust your thoughts a bit!)

Monday he wore his new jeans to school and ended up with a rash on his inner thighs from it. Wednesday it was apparently hurting him on recess so he went to the nurses office and I got a call while on my way back to work from lunch. I tried to assure her that it was nothing and she suggested that if he put band-aids on he might feel better. I didn't have a problem with it and told her to go ahead and have him do that, if he was willing. Then she says "Sometimes children take things like that better from mom so I'm going to put him on the phone." NOOOOO!!!!!! Rule #1: Never, I mean NEVER, give a child with severe separation anxiety the phone to talk to mom in the middle of the day unless you want a riot on your hands. Before I could stop her I could hear that angelic voice on the other end...

TLM: "Mom? My leg hurts."

Me: "I know baby, she's going to get you some band-aids and it will feel better."

TLM: (voice wavering) "Mom?"

Me: "Yes honey?"

TLM: (hysterics) "You need to come!!! You can't leave me here, I NEED you!"

Me: "Honey, you're fine, get the band-aids and I'll see you at daycare."

TLM: speechless and sobbing

Nurse: "Well...that didn't work too well, did it?"

Me: resisting the urge to slap her through the phone "No, he doesn't do well with phone calls."


She said she would get him the band-aids and then send him to class. I told her to call me at work if she needed anything. 20 minutes later she calls. "He's fitting in the office, I don't know what to do with him. I really think you need to get here soon."

Really???? I kind of took my sweet time getting my stuff together to leave work, I was in the middle of a project that I didn't want to leave 1/2 complete. When I did leave, I called her to let her know I was on my way. A few minutes later she calls back and says that his teacher has him and that I'm supposed to call her on her personal number.

Mrs. T: "TLM is FINE. You need to turn your car around and get back to work!"

Me: "He's okay?"

Mrs. T: "She called me and said you were on your way and that he was having a meltdown in her office. He wasn't having a meltdown, he was having a 'sit'down and wouldn't respond to her. He shut down when he got off the phone with you, but now he's in library and he's happy and fine - oh, and he says his legs don't hurt anymore."

Me: "Thank you Mrs. T."

Mrs. T: "No problem, go back to work."


I love her. She's so wonderful and she KNOWS him. She knew exactly what he needed and he is so comfortable with her. She knows how to reach him when he shuts down, which he does too often, but she can bring him back and make him feel safe.

April 1st, a few short weeks, is when we have the meeting to determine his placement for next year. I still really hope that he can be in her class again. I think it will help him tremendously in his academics to not have to get through the hurdle of bonding with another teacher in the beginning of the year. It's one obstacle that is already out of the way.

On the 18th of March is our appointment with the psychologist to discuss Asperger's. More and more I feel like that diagnosis 'fits' him. Just yesterday I felt it when he was trying to interact with the neighbor children. It's so unnatural for him and it always seems like it's such an effort. Add to that the fact that the children know how to make him think he's playing with them when really he's not (yesterday they told him they were playing cops and robbers - he being the cop, them playing whatever they were playing and running away from him anytime he got near). It's disheartening to me as a parent (and their parents should be ashamed!) and maybe if he has gets the diagnosis, it will open up more help for him in teaching social skills.

Anyway...this post really got off track and has nothing to do with his birthday, but Happy Birthday anyway! Love you, Baby!!!