Victory!

I have been asking all year about ESY (Extended School Year) for the Little Man. Each time I ask, they shrug it off or flat out tell me he will not qualify. I have felt since the day he started first grade that he would benefit from, if nothing else, the structure and continuity of ESY. Granted, that's not what it is supposed to be for, but I felt that in his interest, it's what would be best for him.

In February, at our first tri-annual meeting, I again asked and was told no. On April 1st I again inquired, and was told no - after just being handed test results showing him to be at Kindergarten, zero months in math and that his fine motor skills are at a >4 year old level. Even with that knowledge in hand, they still insisted that he did not warrant ESY.

I called for a review meeting. I have spent the past 3 weeks doing research at all hours of the night. WISC, EALR, WAC, BASC, FAPE, ESY - I feel like I know these things like the back of my hand. I typed up an agenda for MY meeting and sent it to his teacher last week as not to catch her off guard. I outlined what goals needed to be addressed, where changes needed to occur on his IEP, what options I felt needed to be on the table for the coming school year, and I plainly added that I wanted him to receive ESY.

The IEP review was today. I brought with me my own notes on my reasons why he was due ESY: 1. Multiple unmet IEP goals, 2. Significant delay in math, 3. Three year delay in fine motor, 4. Probable regression over summer, 5. Slow recoupment in the fall, 6. Less likely to catch up as he ages. I quoted items 2 and 5 of the WAC 392-172A-02020 on Extended School Year Services and how they would apply to TLM. I brought work samples from this time last year in Kindergarten with comparisons of now. I was armed and ready.

We went through my concerns, each specialist had highlighted on their copy of my agenda, the areas that directly affected them. They commented and gave feedback, and commended me for my active role in his advocacy. Not one mention of ESY.

It was nearly time for class to start, children were buzzing around in the halls, and the team began putting their notes away. I was taken aback at first but knew I had to step up and take a stand for him. I politely reminded them that I wanted to discuss ESY.

At first they appeared flustered. I calmly pulled a writing sample out of my notebook and laid it on the table. "This is his writing in March of last year. It is hand over fist better than this year." That was all I said, I left it at that. His OT was the first to speak up, she said that she had similar work samples from Kindergarten and that I was right. Then she said that she also felt he needed ESY. At that point his teacher mentioned that proposals were due to the district three weeks ago (the week that we had our last meeting, when they all agreed that he did NOT need ESY) and that it was too late, even if we did feel he should have it. The OT was the first to speak again. She said that she works OT in the summer and knows that proposals come in late all the time, then she said again that she felt he needed it. His teacher seemed reluctant but agreed. She said that it would take time as she needed to speak with his Kindergarten teacher and find out where he was last year to get an honest feel for where his regression is. Then it was the school psychologists turn. "We have proof right in front of us. Put it through for writing, we'll take care of the details later. He NEEDS this." I tried to hide the smile on my face, and to fight back tears, as I knew that they finally got it. My son became more than a number, more than a dollar sign...he got the validation that he deserves.

And that's how I got ESY for TLM!

Average Joe

Today was the 'Big Meeting', my sit down with the district to review all of the tests that were conducted on the Lab Rat (I mean, the Little Man) since February.

An IQ test (the WISC-IV) was given and he scored a 100. This score may or may not go up as his Processing Speed is significantly delayed and interferes with his other areas. If that score were to increase, his overall IQ would increase as well. A score of 100 is perfectly fine with me though. I, of course, think he's a genius, but I'll take average if I have to.

His reading score on the WJ-III was 1st Grade/3rd Month which is no where near what he scored on the other assessment that his teacher used. We are going to be looking in to that further, I am leaning towards the WJ-III being the most accurate. Unfortunately he scored in Kindergarten 0 months in math which doesn't bode well for my aspirations of him becoming an entomologist or a neonatologist. We'll need to work on that. Not a laughing matter however is the fact that he has now been listed as Learning Disabled. He's too young to determine specifically what LD's are present, and if there is only one or multiple disabilities.

He had a 'clinically significant' delay in 15 out of 22 areas in his social/behavioral assessment. I don't have all of those results yet, should be receiving them next week.

My big 'hurrah' for the day...1:1 OT for fine motor!!! There is no denying that his poor motor planning, motor memory, organization, and fine motor delay are holding him back in multiple facets of his education as well as other areas of his life. Not only did I get the 1:1 OT but they will be specifically addressing the inability to tie shoes and button buttons. I feel like I won a marathon right there!

There is still a lot that needs to be addressed. We did not begin discussing next years placement. April 22nd is the next scheduled meeting for a full IEP review; those usually take a good 2 hours out of my day and I am knee deep in research and note taking at the moment. I am confident that I will get extended school year for him and that I will feel at ease with the placement that is recommended for the fall.

Unfortunately, TLM seems to be a bit manic at the moment. I'm hoping that it fades quickly and that we don't begin walking the dark roads of last April - the path that lead us to the hospital a year ago. Cross your fingers for me that 'this too shall pass' and that we come through unscathed.

Happy Birthday...

The Little Man turns seven on Tuesday, I am in disbelief. It all goes way too fast and he's now closer to being a teenager than an infant! I bought him size 10 jeans the other day, I was in denial that my 6 year old could possibly need anything larger than an 8 but I had to face the facts. (when they don't reach fully around his waist to button, you know you need to adjust your thoughts a bit!)

Monday he wore his new jeans to school and ended up with a rash on his inner thighs from it. Wednesday it was apparently hurting him on recess so he went to the nurses office and I got a call while on my way back to work from lunch. I tried to assure her that it was nothing and she suggested that if he put band-aids on he might feel better. I didn't have a problem with it and told her to go ahead and have him do that, if he was willing. Then she says "Sometimes children take things like that better from mom so I'm going to put him on the phone." NOOOOO!!!!!! Rule #1: Never, I mean NEVER, give a child with severe separation anxiety the phone to talk to mom in the middle of the day unless you want a riot on your hands. Before I could stop her I could hear that angelic voice on the other end...

TLM: "Mom? My leg hurts."

Me: "I know baby, she's going to get you some band-aids and it will feel better."

TLM: (voice wavering) "Mom?"

Me: "Yes honey?"

TLM: (hysterics) "You need to come!!! You can't leave me here, I NEED you!"

Me: "Honey, you're fine, get the band-aids and I'll see you at daycare."

TLM: speechless and sobbing

Nurse: "Well...that didn't work too well, did it?"

Me: resisting the urge to slap her through the phone "No, he doesn't do well with phone calls."


She said she would get him the band-aids and then send him to class. I told her to call me at work if she needed anything. 20 minutes later she calls. "He's fitting in the office, I don't know what to do with him. I really think you need to get here soon."

Really???? I kind of took my sweet time getting my stuff together to leave work, I was in the middle of a project that I didn't want to leave 1/2 complete. When I did leave, I called her to let her know I was on my way. A few minutes later she calls back and says that his teacher has him and that I'm supposed to call her on her personal number.

Mrs. T: "TLM is FINE. You need to turn your car around and get back to work!"

Me: "He's okay?"

Mrs. T: "She called me and said you were on your way and that he was having a meltdown in her office. He wasn't having a meltdown, he was having a 'sit'down and wouldn't respond to her. He shut down when he got off the phone with you, but now he's in library and he's happy and fine - oh, and he says his legs don't hurt anymore."

Me: "Thank you Mrs. T."

Mrs. T: "No problem, go back to work."


I love her. She's so wonderful and she KNOWS him. She knew exactly what he needed and he is so comfortable with her. She knows how to reach him when he shuts down, which he does too often, but she can bring him back and make him feel safe.

April 1st, a few short weeks, is when we have the meeting to determine his placement for next year. I still really hope that he can be in her class again. I think it will help him tremendously in his academics to not have to get through the hurdle of bonding with another teacher in the beginning of the year. It's one obstacle that is already out of the way.

On the 18th of March is our appointment with the psychologist to discuss Asperger's. More and more I feel like that diagnosis 'fits' him. Just yesterday I felt it when he was trying to interact with the neighbor children. It's so unnatural for him and it always seems like it's such an effort. Add to that the fact that the children know how to make him think he's playing with them when really he's not (yesterday they told him they were playing cops and robbers - he being the cop, them playing whatever they were playing and running away from him anytime he got near). It's disheartening to me as a parent (and their parents should be ashamed!) and maybe if he has gets the diagnosis, it will open up more help for him in teaching social skills.

Anyway...this post really got off track and has nothing to do with his birthday, but Happy Birthday anyway! Love you, Baby!!!

At Risk of Jinxing Myself...

I have to tell you!

The Little Man earned ALL of his stickers this week! As you know from earlier posts, this is no small feat for him and I am busting at the seems with pride.

Monday he had a substitute teacher and was so nervous that he clenched his tummy as we walked in to daycare. He could barely talk except to tell me he was scared. In the past, subs have been an issue as he says he doesn't know them so he won't listen to them. His teacher emailed me on Sunday to remind me of the substitute and he and I talked about it that night and again Monday morning. She left a list of notes and suggestions for the teacher on dealing with TLM and apparently it worked. Two stickers!

Tuesday - he actually only earned 1 1/2 stickers on Tuesday because he got frustrated with cutting (or didn't listen to directions completely - I don't quite understand his story) but there were 2 stickers there none the less.

That night he went to urgent care for what I thought was pink eye but quickly (from check-in counter to the seat in the waiting room) became a raging ear infection. His ear was so plugged up that his tube couldn't drain (thankfully, after 1 1/2 years - those tubes are BOTH still in place).

Wednesday he stayed with me, not home but at work all day. He loves going to work with me - he gets spoiled by all the 'Aunts' and of course by 'Grandma Becky' in the office. He also gets to go on bus runs and for some reason the other children see him as some saint and ogle over him when he's there.

Thursday - two stickers again! I picked him up early that day because his ear was giving him grief again. Thankfully the antibiotics started to kick in and his ear drained for 5 hours straight. I rested easy after the bleeding stopped and my panicked call to the pediatrician was returned - now he's on antibiotics AND ear drops.

Friday - another two stickers!

We've been doing his sticker chart since mid-October and never, until last week, has he ever got more than one 2-sticker-day in a week. I think his teacher has tweaked her expectations just a tad but, still, this is HUGE!

Last night after dinner we made a special trip to the store to buy Madagascar 2 and we celebrated with a fun movie night on the couch curled up under a blanket together. It was a great way to end a wonderful week! (Alright - wonderful, minus the urgent care, pink eye scare, and bleeding ear infection)

I'm so proud of you! Way to Go, my Little Man!

It's the Best Day Ever...

(I love that catchy tune, never thought I'd refer to it in a blog post though!)

Part of the Little Man's behavior plan at school is his sticker chart. He has the opportunity to earn two stickers each day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The first two weeks back from break were tough on him and he earned 4 stickers out of a possible 20 - obviously there were some 'issues' going on! Last week he turned a corner and he earned 6 stickers in the week with a day off thrown in there for good measure. Right now, it's Wednesday night and we're at 4 stickers already! He's definitely making some progress - WooHoo!!!

Yesterday morning the Little Man announced to me that he was going to get one sticker. I kind of laughed and asked why he was only shooting for one, why not go for two? When I picked him up from daycare last night he was excited - he got his one sticker! I decided that rather than hound him and question why he didn't get the second sticker, that I would just be proud of him for getting one. I did not even ask about the other sticker - and I knew that his teacher will leave me a note if there is an issue that I need to be aware of.

Fast forward...

While I was getting dinner ready, the Little Man told me that he wanted me to see his sticker chart, he even got it out for me. I stopped what I was doing and went to the couch to sit down. I reached for the notebook and began opening. The Little Man turned and began walking up the stairs stopping a few steps up. "I'll be in my room, Mom. And I won't ask to play the wii tonight."

Wise beyond his years I tell you! Turns out he spit on another students desk and then wouldn't clean it up. His teacher sent him to the Principal's office. The day before he spit on a teachers shoe at daycare - and was forced to clean it. I made it very clear that first day that it was unacceptable and that it would not be tolerated. There are a lot of negative connotations associated with spitting, on someones shoe, especially when that someone is African-American. He seemed to grasp that I would not be happy and since he took care of his punishment on his own, I did not have to do a lot of lecturing. He lost a few more privileges as the evening progressed and at one point even called me on it, saying that he already went to his room, lost his wii, etc. I simply told him that what he did was so wrong that he would be losing many things that night. Amazingly, he did not argue and even seemed to understand.

Today...when I picked him up from daycare his teacher came up and told me that he had one of the best days he's ever had! As we were opening the door to go inside another child told him to 'run to the front door!'. The Little Man got really upset, got in his face and yelled at him not to try to get him in trouble. I was proud of him for sticking up for himself. When we got in the car he told me that he got TWO stickers today! This time when he asked me to look at his sticker chart he did it with a glow to his cheeks and a smile on his face. What greeted me made me beam as much as him..."Wow! You can't believe what a great day!Whatever you did, do it again." What parent doesn't want to hear (or read) those words from their child's teacher??? Really I have no idea what I did, so I can't predict a repeat performance. I was so proud of him. I asked him how it was, if it was tough to earn two stickers. LOL, he told me that it was hard work "but I survived." I told him that he survives every day but that it feels a lot better to do it with two stickers to show at the end of it.

We'll see what tomorrow has in store. Could he have "The Best Day Ever" two days in a row?