It's the Best Day Ever...

(I love that catchy tune, never thought I'd refer to it in a blog post though!)

Part of the Little Man's behavior plan at school is his sticker chart. He has the opportunity to earn two stickers each day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The first two weeks back from break were tough on him and he earned 4 stickers out of a possible 20 - obviously there were some 'issues' going on! Last week he turned a corner and he earned 6 stickers in the week with a day off thrown in there for good measure. Right now, it's Wednesday night and we're at 4 stickers already! He's definitely making some progress - WooHoo!!!

Yesterday morning the Little Man announced to me that he was going to get one sticker. I kind of laughed and asked why he was only shooting for one, why not go for two? When I picked him up from daycare last night he was excited - he got his one sticker! I decided that rather than hound him and question why he didn't get the second sticker, that I would just be proud of him for getting one. I did not even ask about the other sticker - and I knew that his teacher will leave me a note if there is an issue that I need to be aware of.

Fast forward...

While I was getting dinner ready, the Little Man told me that he wanted me to see his sticker chart, he even got it out for me. I stopped what I was doing and went to the couch to sit down. I reached for the notebook and began opening. The Little Man turned and began walking up the stairs stopping a few steps up. "I'll be in my room, Mom. And I won't ask to play the wii tonight."

Wise beyond his years I tell you! Turns out he spit on another students desk and then wouldn't clean it up. His teacher sent him to the Principal's office. The day before he spit on a teachers shoe at daycare - and was forced to clean it. I made it very clear that first day that it was unacceptable and that it would not be tolerated. There are a lot of negative connotations associated with spitting, on someones shoe, especially when that someone is African-American. He seemed to grasp that I would not be happy and since he took care of his punishment on his own, I did not have to do a lot of lecturing. He lost a few more privileges as the evening progressed and at one point even called me on it, saying that he already went to his room, lost his wii, etc. I simply told him that what he did was so wrong that he would be losing many things that night. Amazingly, he did not argue and even seemed to understand.

Today...when I picked him up from daycare his teacher came up and told me that he had one of the best days he's ever had! As we were opening the door to go inside another child told him to 'run to the front door!'. The Little Man got really upset, got in his face and yelled at him not to try to get him in trouble. I was proud of him for sticking up for himself. When we got in the car he told me that he got TWO stickers today! This time when he asked me to look at his sticker chart he did it with a glow to his cheeks and a smile on his face. What greeted me made me beam as much as him..."Wow! You can't believe what a great day!Whatever you did, do it again." What parent doesn't want to hear (or read) those words from their child's teacher??? Really I have no idea what I did, so I can't predict a repeat performance. I was so proud of him. I asked him how it was, if it was tough to earn two stickers. LOL, he told me that it was hard work "but I survived." I told him that he survives every day but that it feels a lot better to do it with two stickers to show at the end of it.

We'll see what tomorrow has in store. Could he have "The Best Day Ever" two days in a row?

But I'm his Mom...and I'm supposed to fix this stuff

I had a long conversation with the Little Man's teacher yesterday. It all started with just wanting a progress report on his day - he had a rough couple days but not in his typical fashion. He was crying a lot and having accidents at school and at home. Turns out my worry was for nothing, he was doing great and earned 1 1/2 out of 2 stickers for the day!

We began talking a lot about his progress through the year and where he is struggling. She broached the subject of his current placement (integrated classroom with 6 special needs students and 15 mainstream) and stressed how this placement is with the intent of having the students working primarily in a large group setting - one that he is just not ready for. ALL of the class instruction is having to be retaught to him in a small group setting or one on one. His teacher, as I've said before, is amazing though and I think she actually enjoys the one on one time she has with him. While I appreciate all the work she's putting in for him, I know that it takes away from the other students in class. I believe she is trying to prep me for Contained Learning Classroom for him next year - a classroom comprised completely of special needs students.

I have been growing increasingly concerned with his social skills lately. He has always been delayed in this area - and when he had his initial screening for services 3 years ago that was the area with the greatest deficit. He seemingly has made NO progress in his social abilities since that time and in some areas has even regressed. When the Little Man was in the hospital last May, they questioned whether or not he was Asperger's (high functioning Autism). With a heavy heart and a deep breath - I came out and asked his teacher yesterday what her opionion was. If anyone would have in inclination one way or another it would be her.

Her words hit hard, though they weren't entirely unexpected. Hearing someone else echo your deepest fears is not something you ever want to hear. She told me that she was not in a position at the moment to suggest Asperger's - because then the district would have to pay for testing and she can't say that without discussing with them first. She said I NEEDED to follow up on that with his doctor. She also said that if she were to do an assessment on him right now - that he'd be at a 2 1/2 to 3 year old level in social development.

Asperger's has loomed in the back of my mind for over a year. I couldn't pinpoint why it bothered me so bad to hear the words from her. And then it hit me. Bipolar, I can all but cure that. As controversial as it sounds (and if you're in my shoes, you'll get it) I can give him the support and the medications that he needs to get beyond many of the issues that accompany his bipolar. That skinned knee can have a band-aid, I can patch it, it will leave a scar that may loom around, but it's livable. Asperger's? I can't fix it. There is no band-aid big enough to cover that wound. Yes, I can support him and help give him tools to work through the challenges that Asperger's brings, but I can't, no matter how hard I try, make it go away. This wound will never heal.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, President Barack Obama, and the Little Man

I have been really pleased with the way the Little Man's teacher has approached the entire presidential process - the election and the inauguration both. Back in October he came home talking about who he would vote for if he was able and the conversations have yet to cease in the past 4 months.

Yesterday they watched the inauguration in class. I did not know about it ahead of time so I was very pleased when he came home talking about it last night. He took a lot out of it and seemed to catch every little detail. (He even talked about the flubbed Oath - "He should have told him the words in chunks, you can't remember lots of words.") I sent an email to his teacher yesterday thanking her for allowing him that piece of history. Is it something he'll remember as an adult? Not necessarily, but maybe.

Yesterday I actually had someone tell me that they didn't see what the big deal was, why everyone was making such a fuss about THIS inauguration as opposed to others. I was in disbelief that she couldn't grasp the significance of what we were witnessing. I, on the other hand, fought back tears watching the CNN coverage online after I got home last night. This is history unfolding right in front of our eyes, it's powerful and inspiring, and I'm glad that it has finally happened.

Tonight the Little Man was full of questions and observations. It started with him telling me that Barack Obama was in a bullet proof 'cage' and that even his limosine was bullet proof. Obviously they had shared in some deep conversations at school for this to be brought up, and this isn't new for any president - they all go through those great lengths for protection. I asked him why that was, why did he need the bullet proof 'cage' and car. His answer was not as simple as I would have hoped. "Because his skin is brown, but Mom, why does that matter?".

We talked a lot tonight. Probably the heaviest conversation, definitely the most grown up, that we've ever had. We talked about what it meant to be president and what an important job that is. We talked about people not always liking the job that a president does or decisions that they make causing the need for the bullet proof glass. We talked about the color of our skin, and that of our friends. We talked about how some people think that the color of your skin decides what kind of person you are and that you don't deserve certain rights because of that color. He told me, almost puzzled, that he did not understand because he has friends with brown skin - and they are all just like him. At 6 years old, he knows what some adults can not even figure out - the color of your skin does not matter, it does not make you who you are.

The Little Man told me he had read a book last year about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr and in it there was a picture of him helping a group of children. He told me about how MLK is important because he was helping the black people so that they could do anything they want.

The last thing that he told me before he went to bed tonight was that when he grows up - he wants to help people like Martin Luther King Jr did, and...he thinks he'd like to be President.

Little Man....Here's to your Dream.

How Much Wisdom Does One Person Need???

Last week, while driving home from work, I realized that I had a wisdom tooth coming in - peaking through the gums in an uncomfortable sort of way. I, personally, think that it was just fine where it was 2 weeks ago but I guess it had other ideas. Add that to the fact that it was coming in at an angle - pushing towards the tooth in front of it, and we obviously have a problem.

I haven't been to a dentist in an embarrassingly long time. I have the typical reasons - first it was no insurance, then it was having a child and putting his needs first, then it was work and not making the time to go. Leave it to a wisdom tooth to get your butt in gear.

Those reasons just explain not having cleanings. The wisdom tooth - that's a whole nother story. Back in high school I had the bottom two removed (Why only 2??? I'm sure there was a great reason at the time). It was a horrible experience. It started with the Novocaine becoming less potent as the procedure wore on, to the point of feeling very uncomfortable by the time all was said and done. It ended, 4 days later, with a trip to the ER because those pesky sockets refused to clot - the blood kept going, and going, and going...you get the idea. Because of that lovely incident I've had doctors take the utmost care with me, including dragging their feet with an epidural for the birth of the Little Man.

Last week I made the dreaded call to the dentist (referred to me by my boss) and was seen right away. They took x-rays and we discovered that I am not as wise as I thought, having only 1 wisdom tooth on the top. I left with an appointment scheduled for the 28th of January - eons away!

Two days ago they called with a cancellation and I, reluctantly, accepted - today was the big day. I was more than scared for the extraction today but was taking comfort in the doctor repeatedly telling me his number one goal was that I felt NO pain! I'm all over that!

After signing my life away, getting my first few good whiffs of laughing gas, and being shown the vicarious position of my tooth (where the root has formed curved along the wall of the sinus cavity - not a good thing by any stretch of the imagination), they took my blood pressure. Now, I've been known to have high blood pressure, should be on meds but am not currently - I know that 183/132 is NOT a good reading! The doctor said that I had a few minutes, then he would check it again - and if I couldn't get below 160/100 he would have to cancel! Thankfully I got down to 140/92, which while it isn't good, isn't scary bad either.

The extraction went off without a hitch! I felt NO pain, it was great, I had no problems with my sinuses, and better yet - my bleeding has nearly stopped a mere 8 hours later!

I'm currently enjoying my couch, my computer, and my vicadin. The pain is at a minimum still and I haven't begun any swelling. Could it really go this easy? I sure hope so!

Because You Can Never Have Too Much Random

I was thinking today, wondering why this time of year always brings out the dreaded depression. I'm not sure that I ever came to any hard fast conclusions, nothing earth shattering by any means, there is no nasty memory that haunts me this time of year unlocking some depression door. Nada, Zip, Zilch.

I do know that sitting in my home, with a child that is not real big in to conversation, leaves a lot of time with me and my inner voice. (Does that make me crazy? The voices in my head?) Usually I'm not bothered by the alone, the silence, the solitude; but other times, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Usually when I get like this, it's the time that I pick up the phone to talk to mom/sister/friend/ex/...and inevitably get answering machine after flippin' answering machine. Sometimes the quiet is just too much (nights are the worst) - maybe, subconsciously, that's why I go to bed when my boy does - at 6:45 at night! It's easier to be asleep than to be alone with just my thoughts to keep me company.

The past week my thoughts have revolved around the Little Man and school. Trying to piece together what accommodations would be best for him, what I should be asking for without cutting him short, or not pushing him to his fullest ability. The thought crossed my mind, for the first time ever, that maybe he needs an aide in class - though I'm not holding my breath for that as I know how expensive that would be for the district. I really think it would be better for him, his teacher, and the other children in his class. The teacher would not have to be interrupted to intervene when he's having an 'episode', he would have immediate instruction to get him back on track, and the children would have seamless (at least where the Little Man is concerned) education.

I can't for the life of me figure out why he can't have a good day at school AND at daycare on the same day. It boggles me really. And is he really having that hard of a time at daycare or is it that the teacher seems to have a photographic memory and recalls, word for word, every run in she had with my child in the past 2 hours? I know that 90% of the stuff they tell me, really isn't necessary. Presumably, you took care of the problem, and it wasn't that big of a deal to begin with, it really doesn't need to be relived again when I get there. Don't get me wrong - if he hurts someone I want to know, if he uses inappropriate language I want to know, if he gets frustrated when something doesn't go his way and he rips up his project I really don't care all that much.

How come, when the Little Man is unstable, he builds forts? He is constantly building these elaborate forts (or nests) and then, because he's unstable, he can't deal with the frustration when they break (which they ALWAYS do). It's frustrating to him, and it gets on my last nerve. He does not build them when he's stable, never.



Totally off the topic, but food for thought none the less...why did the cat suddenly, after nearly a year, realize that there are hermit crabs in the house? Why does he need to sit on the tank? And why does he not burn his tail on the lamp because that thing is HOT!