Because You Can Never Have Too Much Random

I was thinking today, wondering why this time of year always brings out the dreaded depression. I'm not sure that I ever came to any hard fast conclusions, nothing earth shattering by any means, there is no nasty memory that haunts me this time of year unlocking some depression door. Nada, Zip, Zilch.

I do know that sitting in my home, with a child that is not real big in to conversation, leaves a lot of time with me and my inner voice. (Does that make me crazy? The voices in my head?) Usually I'm not bothered by the alone, the silence, the solitude; but other times, it would be nice to have someone to talk to. Usually when I get like this, it's the time that I pick up the phone to talk to mom/sister/friend/ex/...and inevitably get answering machine after flippin' answering machine. Sometimes the quiet is just too much (nights are the worst) - maybe, subconsciously, that's why I go to bed when my boy does - at 6:45 at night! It's easier to be asleep than to be alone with just my thoughts to keep me company.

The past week my thoughts have revolved around the Little Man and school. Trying to piece together what accommodations would be best for him, what I should be asking for without cutting him short, or not pushing him to his fullest ability. The thought crossed my mind, for the first time ever, that maybe he needs an aide in class - though I'm not holding my breath for that as I know how expensive that would be for the district. I really think it would be better for him, his teacher, and the other children in his class. The teacher would not have to be interrupted to intervene when he's having an 'episode', he would have immediate instruction to get him back on track, and the children would have seamless (at least where the Little Man is concerned) education.

I can't for the life of me figure out why he can't have a good day at school AND at daycare on the same day. It boggles me really. And is he really having that hard of a time at daycare or is it that the teacher seems to have a photographic memory and recalls, word for word, every run in she had with my child in the past 2 hours? I know that 90% of the stuff they tell me, really isn't necessary. Presumably, you took care of the problem, and it wasn't that big of a deal to begin with, it really doesn't need to be relived again when I get there. Don't get me wrong - if he hurts someone I want to know, if he uses inappropriate language I want to know, if he gets frustrated when something doesn't go his way and he rips up his project I really don't care all that much.

How come, when the Little Man is unstable, he builds forts? He is constantly building these elaborate forts (or nests) and then, because he's unstable, he can't deal with the frustration when they break (which they ALWAYS do). It's frustrating to him, and it gets on my last nerve. He does not build them when he's stable, never.



Totally off the topic, but food for thought none the less...why did the cat suddenly, after nearly a year, realize that there are hermit crabs in the house? Why does he need to sit on the tank? And why does he not burn his tail on the lamp because that thing is HOT!