Visit...Part 1

Wow...just, Wow.

In 11 days they will see eachother. They will embrace, they will cry, they will walk hand in hand; for the first time in 18 months, that's 1 1/2 YEARS!!! When I think about it, my heart starts to race, my hands shake, and I fight back tears.

The Little Man desperately wants to see his daddy so we (his father and I) discussed it. It's been discussed many times, but now his father is finally ready. I know how hard the first visit will be, and it doesn't really matter whether it's now or a year from now, it will be excrutiating on us all. I took the Little Man to his therapist last week who talked at length to him about what to expect and gave some wonderful suggestions. The Little Man seems to understand what will happen (we'll meet up with Daddy, spend time together at a local science museum, eat lunch, visit daddy's fire station, then WE will go to Grammy's while Daddy goes to his house) but only time will tell how he will truly react.

The therapist visit was tough on me, I tried to disquise my tears and not let on to the Little Man that my heart was ripping from my chest and that my stomach was flip-flopping around like a fish out of water. He asked the Little Man if he wanted to see his Daddy and his face LIT up, he had the biggest smile I've seen in ages. The entire time he talked about it, he smiled; he was almost giddy. He says he won't cry when he leaves, that he'll just be happy.

I want him to be happy, I want it more than anything. I worry what my feelings will be, if I will be happy as well; will I be angry for his father taking this away from us; will I cry at the sight of the two of them together.

This picture is the last that I have of the two of them, it was taken in April of 2006.





You never know when the last time is you will see a person. Take photos, lots of photos, and cherish them.